1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,340 You gotta kittens. You got a little kitten outside me 2 00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,350 wandering around, boom done. 3 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,750 Adam curry, John C. Dvorak. 4 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,200 Sunday, April 30 2017. This is your award winning give our 5 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,200 nation media assassination episode nine to five. 6 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,360 This is no agenda. 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,920 watching paint dry in Washington DC so you don't have to and 8 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,380 broadcasting live from the darkness scores here in the 9 00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:26,190 capitals. Goldstar state Austin Tejas, morning, everybody. I'm 10 00:00:26,190 --> 00:00:28,140 Adam curry and from Northern Silicon 11 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:30,750 Valley where there's no paint to dry. I'm John C. Dvorak. 12 00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,000 Sullivan Buzzkill. 13 00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:37,290 Yeah, I watched it. 14 00:00:38,370 --> 00:00:39,750 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 15 00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:42,660 Yeah. But that's not my problem. And I had a I've had a rough 16 00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:50,010 weekend. John rough weekend. How rough Was it very rough. You 17 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,510 know, we're in the middle of our move here. 18 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:54,270 Oh, that's right. You would not even hit home. You 19 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:57,420 know, I actually have I am at home. It is just like you're in 20 00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:00,270 a new home. You know? No, I'm in the old home because they came 21 00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:05,520 in to pack up Friday. And they packed up Tina's House on Friday 22 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,780 and Monday is when we move. So I've been living amongst boxes, 23 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:15,660 which has two very serious side effects or even a side effect. 24 00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:21,390 No paper cuts. No, number one is the dust. Because oh my god is 25 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:25,200 so much dust and I have the HEPA filter running 24/7 I'm trying 26 00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:29,220 everything. I got humidifiers. And I woke up this morning and 27 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:34,350 my glands are swollen. My ears hurt is like completely screwed. 28 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:40,110 But that's not the worst. Oh, no. No, it's been. It's been 29 00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:44,580 very emotional. Now the keeper away, let's 30 00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:46,890 get this straight. Why? 31 00:01:46,949 --> 00:01:50,609 I'm going to tell you. So the keeper is a minimalist, which I 32 00:01:50,609 --> 00:01:51,029 like 33 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:54,360 we like minimalist. We would like a minimalist. Yes. Yeah. 34 00:01:54,390 --> 00:01:54,930 Yeah. So 35 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:58,410 we'd like that. And I said, Well, you know, we're gonna move 36 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:05,310 in together, I can certainly get to minimalism going. And so I 37 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:08,040 don't have all that much stuff. But I have this one closet, 38 00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:13,410 which contains just huge crates of stuff that I've been showing. 39 00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:13,740 That's 40 00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,900 why she tweeted the pictures. Yeah. 41 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,480 Well, I asked her to tweet the pictures, because here's what's 42 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:24,150 going on. Even and I have I had well, I will never make a joke 43 00:02:24,150 --> 00:02:29,100 about you being an archivist ever again. Because I'm an 44 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:32,850 archivist. And when I saw when I saw the stuff that I've been 45 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:37,950 schlepping around for over a decade, I mean, I'm talking just 46 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:43,470 big bundles of wires. He said, I must have 15 mixing boards, 47 00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:47,670 compressor limiters, you want a USB cable, you can't name a USB 48 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:51,570 cable, I don't have. I've got 17 old laptops. I've got 49 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:55,410 hundreds of UI, you know laptops, and I have 50 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,110 I know and I've gotten this really good laptops, you know, 51 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,140 like the old the iBook, the clamshell iBook. I've got one of 52 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:01,260 them. 53 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,120 Oh yeah, that's a winner then one of 54 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:08,970 the first trans tranny laptops that goes from a laptop to to a 55 00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:12,330 tablet. Yeah, but I really like an old one. I mean, we're 56 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,830 talking 10 years, 57 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,070 the first iteration of those things. Yeah, it was the 58 00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:19,320 Microsoft. But here's the problem. 59 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:24,450 I have had real emotional issues throwing stuff out. 60 00:03:25,109 --> 00:03:30,209 Oh, now I get it. So you're pointing the finger at me? Who 61 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:33,989 has it completely under control? I have thrown out more laptops. 62 00:03:33,989 --> 00:03:37,889 And I've kept to just make yourself feel better? 63 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,520 Well, there's a couple things. One, I can't be throwing these 64 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,730 laptops they made? Who knows they may even contain Bitcoin, I 65 00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:47,940 don't know what's on them. So I have to figure out a way to to 66 00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:51,540 destroy them. Or you know, you can't even boot them all up. So 67 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:54,270 I don't know how to get the data off or how to unless I just 68 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,850 stick a drill into it. No, no, I 69 00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:58,530 know exactly what you should do. Oh, 70 00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,970 this is what I was hoping to hear. 71 00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,600 Take the hard disk out of each one. 72 00:04:04,590 --> 00:04:07,020 Well, you can't take a hard disk out of a Mac. 73 00:04:09,180 --> 00:04:12,510 There's got to be some way to break the Mac, you can throw out 74 00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:15,060 that thing. Although that's a very collectible Mac. It's one 75 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:17,400 of the worst Mac's ever made. And 76 00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:20,070 you're telling me it's an actual collectible. See, now I have 77 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:21,450 even more trouble getting rid of 78 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,170 I think that is a collectible. So the other ones are not but if 79 00:04:25,170 --> 00:04:29,310 you wanted to, I would pull the hard disks out of every one of 80 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,470 them. And then if you'd want to try to recover what's on the 81 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:34,230 hard disk, you can do that with some you know some equipment. 82 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:38,820 I have drives that are FireWire. I don't even own a FireWire 83 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:39,870 machine anymore. 84 00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:43,980 Just drill them then and throw out the 85 00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:46,260 toss them see then there's the 88 86 00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:49,530 Wait, wait, take the laptops that without the hard disks and 87 00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:51,600 donate them to a local museum. 88 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,770 You think there's a museum that'll take all this crap? 89 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,470 There was what got to be one around the country somewhere. 90 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,130 I mean, I even have Do you remember the cube the cobalt 91 00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:07,200 cube? It was cobalt. Yeah, I have the original cobalt cube. 92 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:07,350 I've 93 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,520 got my 94 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,320 thank you. I'm a hoarder. I just have to say it. And I took this 95 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,320 all in yoga, because now you feel better. I hope because of 96 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,390 my therapy. I was able to take this all the way back to 97 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:20,160 childhood. You know this? 98 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,860 Oh, yeah. Money your favorite toys away? 99 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:27,390 No, I think I think I was lonely. And I'm like, 100 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,890 oh, yeah, Jewish sisters. 101 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,340 Believe me, when you're the eldest and you got two younger 102 00:05:32,340 --> 00:05:37,050 sisters is lonely at the top. Yeah. And I think that you know, 103 00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:40,830 just like I had a lot of stuffed animals on my, on my bed like, 104 00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:44,460 these are my buddies, my wires and everything. John, it's, I 105 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:48,390 was I was ill. I actually kind of got ill just thinking of, 106 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:53,010 what am I doing with I must be 1000 pounds in weight that I 107 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,980 have separated to be either given away, donated or thrown 108 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:56,400 out. 109 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:02,490 Yeah, my wife would routinely because she likes to clean up. 110 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,510 She actually she doesn't like to clean up but she gets on a Jag 111 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:09,240 and she likes to clean up. Yeah, so she'll start cleaning and my 112 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,460 daughter's worse. I have to be careful with her 113 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,640 with the cleaning because you'll throw good stuff. Oh, no, 114 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,850 she just she she I can see her. She's looks left she looks 115 00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:20,370 right. She doesn't see me looking at her. boom in the good 116 00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:21,750 stuff goes into the garbage bag. 117 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,720 What is she doing in your office? Man? What does she do? 118 00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:25,740 She can 119 00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:28,560 clean this. My daughter in particular can make this office 120 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,250 spotless. 121 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,550 I mean, I actually had the conversation you know, I have a 122 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:36,690 big Yamaha keyboard. And Tina's like, what are you gonna do with 123 00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:39,870 that? I said, Well, I can't this can't throw this out. What have 124 00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:44,040 you got? You'd give that away? Give it to Salvation Army or put 125 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,450 it on the show. But wait, 126 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,140 well, that's an idea. Just like what if what if Elton John drops 127 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:51,690 by and then he says all Tina, I'd like to play song for you. 128 00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:54,150 But you got keyboard. Oh, you threw the keyboard out? Oh, 129 00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:59,790 sorry. No song for you. Wow. Yeah, that's projecting the 130 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:02,730 future. Yeah. Or Bruce Hornsby could have Oh, sure. 131 00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:05,670 Any one of those guys. How often have they showed up in the last 132 00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:09,120 five years? Oh, you know what? I'm in Austin and give me Oh, 133 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,340 yeah, place where nobody knows anything about music. 134 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:18,300 So it's been, but seriously, it was really surprising to me. 135 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,560 One, how just how much junk I have collected and have been 136 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:26,910 schlepping. For 10 years. This agenda is stuff that is 10 years 137 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,900 older than 10 years Creative Labs. mp3 players. Are you 138 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:31,650 kidding me? 139 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,130 Yeah, that's that's a goner. 140 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,540 I have experimental stuff in here. It's just now 141 00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,610 here's what I do is I'll give you some more advices another 142 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:43,830 way you can go. All right. There's some stuff you've got 143 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:47,820 that is probably worth something to someone. Yeah, not much. But 144 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:48,450 I'm sure there's some 145 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,640 what's not much what's? 146 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:54,270 Well, I think the cobalt cube might be interesting for someone 147 00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:57,450 to collect. I mean, who is serious collector that has a 148 00:07:57,450 --> 00:08:03,270 collection that's neat. And organized. So you can put a list 149 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,820 of stuff you have, this will make you feel a lot better. You 150 00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:07,950 put a list of stuff you have that you didn't need to get rid 151 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,620 of, and it'll go to a good home if somebody claims that 152 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,680 otherwise you're just gonna throw it out. Yeah. And but 153 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,010 there's you do have artifacts that are actually art, 154 00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:20,910 such as what is actually art, this is a great way to explain, 155 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:24,180 Hey, baby, this is actually art, we should display this. And 156 00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:29,220 so I've got three display cases, I got an Ikea cancer, that kind 157 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:33,150 of a box with a glass thing in front of it. All three of them 158 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,100 filled with weird looking mice. 159 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:41,610 Oh, yeah, I have that for Morse code keys. That Okay, that is 160 00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:44,790 okay. I think because I think Morse code keys are indeed art. 161 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,610 These handmade keys are beautiful. I really enjoy them 162 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,220 here. But that's about the only thing I'm not going to display 163 00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:52,230 computer stuff that's plain, 164 00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:56,670 no a pipe, but a bunch of mice all tangled up together in a box 165 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,460 like that is actually quite interesting as art per se. 166 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,880 And this coming from you is even more interesting that this is 167 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,910 your ODE you have a collection of mice. 168 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:10,410 Oh to the mouse. Well, I started noticing like an accumulation of 169 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:13,710 mice that I'd ever used. You know, the ball mouse isn't one 170 00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:16,860 of those anymore. The the I still have the Microsoft mouse 171 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:22,260 with the metal ball. Which is an extreme collectible as far as 172 00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:25,230 I'm concerned. But who's gonna buy these things? So I stuffed 173 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:28,980 them in these boxes and present and we hung them on the wall. It 174 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:33,780 looks it looks like it looks like some sort of art does. It 175 00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:34,260 does it 176 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,570 another reason why it's two separate homes really works. 177 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,840 Well, that those that actually that would work at either house. 178 00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:46,560 It's a very attractive piece. You'd be surprised No, I'm 179 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,780 just, I believe Yeah, I believe you. 180 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:52,980 And so there's that you could I'm sure that they'd like their 181 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:56,820 little mp3 player from Creative law. Here's a cool idea. Take 182 00:09:56,820 --> 00:10:00,090 that mp3 player. Go to one of those tap plastic places. By 183 00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:03,720 joining get this a pocket that is but there's Lucite stuff that 184 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,280 you can you can make a mold a cube mold pour this plastic in 185 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:12,000 there then push the thing down into the into the plastic before 186 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,660 it dries yeah and then let it solid solidify into a giant 187 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:19,740 plastic cube with with the mp3 player embedded. 188 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,630 Wow that'll be worth 50 bucks on its it won't be worth anything 189 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:24,930 but it will 190 00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:25,680 look cool 191 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,940 anyway, so a period of growth 192 00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:36,660 I'm sorry to hear this because of all grief you've given me a 193 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:40,710 but be genuine notice this stuff when you move from the last 194 00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:41,250 place. 195 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,460 Um, did I not explain this is a psychological issue that goes 196 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:48,600 back to my childhood This is blank out? No, I've just I've 197 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,750 always been like, ah, you know how I can throw this out? Okay, 198 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:57,570 let me try this. So running into the minimalist. She snapped you 199 00:10:57,570 --> 00:10:59,910 into realization is that what happened? 200 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,460 I was ready. I was ready to. I've just been ready. I've been 201 00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:08,520 ready to give this up. I just died and all of a sudden that 202 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,490 hit me and I wasn't quite prepared for it. It was 203 00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:16,950 frightening. Yeah, I mean, I live and I'm okay now but man it 204 00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:22,350 was it was a big deal. And and I felt bad because I've chided 205 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:27,000 you. And let me tell you per square footage, I know I have a 206 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,430 denser pot, you know denser pile of crap. And 207 00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:31,710 just because you don't have as much room to spread out 208 00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:35,340 exactly, exactly. But has just been dragging this crap around 209 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:37,740 for decades. I can't build that's what was so frightening. 210 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:41,130 Why am I doing that? What is wrong with me and I realize it I 211 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:43,260 don't want to get I don't want to let go of the little boy. 212 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,640 I don't think that's it. Now, I don't think that's it at all 213 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,010 what I think it is. I think it's a problem with a lot of 214 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:54,360 Hoarders. Yes, are let's just call ourselves archivists, with 215 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:58,980 a lot of archivists. You see value in all of this stuff, and 216 00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:01,290 you don't like throwing money away. You're cheap. You're cheap 217 00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:04,560 tightwad. That's what it really amounts to, though. Wait a 218 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:09,150 minute, let me look at this old copy of Lotus jazz. You know, 219 00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,280 I'll bet you this is worth 10 bosses 220 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:15,960 jazz Wow. Then that could never get Lotus jazz to work properly 221 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:20,760 on the Mac floss it just never did the never dialed in they're 222 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,660 supposed to be like a dial in thing or the you know, because 223 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:29,100 it was yeah, it was the full suite it had loads of jazz. 224 00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:32,670 So So you have this that you think has value this is because 225 00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:36,120 I've watched a horror show and it's it always boils down to 226 00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:39,450 this is worth something i Why am I throwing money? 227 00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:43,260 You're right you're right but on the other night, a little boy 228 00:12:43,260 --> 00:12:43,800 anything 229 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,470 is bullcrap. You're trying to come up with some romantic 230 00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:47,910 reason that you're a cheapskate. 231 00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:50,999 Now I'm far from a cheapskate and you know better than that. 232 00:12:50,999 --> 00:12:52,289 I'm not a cheap well, you're 233 00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:56,070 you don't spend money wisely, but it does you don't throw 234 00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:58,830 money away. Oh, but I'm gonna throw away guy. 235 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:02,490 But John, we're talking about okay, there's gear. But when you 236 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,130 look at the amount of wires, yeah, 237 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,570 every wire is worth five bucks. 238 00:13:08,790 --> 00:13:10,740 You're rich. You're a millionaire. 239 00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:15,060 That's right. Go podcasting. I'm quitting. It's quittin time, 240 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:21,150 everybody. All right. So that's been my weekend so far. No, no, 241 00:13:21,150 --> 00:13:23,820 no, no, no, this is good. I feel good about it. I really do. 242 00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:27,480 Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. And I in a roundabout way, but I'll 243 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,910 just say it. I apologize for making fun of you as an 244 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:33,660 archivist. But this just proves you are what you accuse others 245 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:41,310 of this is just solidify. Yes. Right. Yeah. Anyways, so between 246 00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:45,000 all the boxes last night, I of course watch two things. I 247 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:50,490 watched the President's speech in Harrisburg, which was I was 248 00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:53,340 led to believe it was meant as counterprogramming, I think was 249 00:13:53,340 --> 00:13:56,220 much smarter. It wasn't counterprogramming was on just 250 00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,590 before the White House Correspondents Dinner and what 251 00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:02,670 seaspan did is they now just so people who who don't know every 252 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:06,360 year, how long has this been going on going for a while this 253 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:06,780 White House 254 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:10,470 correspondent started during the Roosevelt administration may be 255 00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:10,920 Yeah, and he 256 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,950 probably didn't like it. But the idea was the White House 257 00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:16,650 Correspondents Association, all the end, it's a lot of them. 258 00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:21,240 There's a lot of guys and gals 1000s They have a big party, 259 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,750 which up until this year was you know, it got progressively more 260 00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:29,460 showbusiness like, and the hashtag was nerd party. You 261 00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:32,160 know, they go and it's so cool. We got all the cool journalists 262 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,770 and like a wolf blitzer. He looks good in a tuxedo. Oh, and 263 00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:37,110 he's sitting with Kim Kardashian. It was a complete 264 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:40,170 douchebag fest, and totally douche 265 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,210 baggy with all those Hollywood types. Yeah. 266 00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:46,350 And the idea is that it's it's really meant to give out 267 00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:50,820 scholarships to journalists and some awards, some cash prizes, 268 00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:55,020 to movie prizes. And then the President speaks and he's 269 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:58,890 allowed to excoriate the press a little bit with a couple of 270 00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:02,760 videos and some funny jokes Obama was very good at it. And 271 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,030 then they typically have Reagan was good at it too. I don't 272 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,670 remember that would have been that he was gonna have a 273 00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:11,850 comedian come up and he rose everybody. That's the basic idea 274 00:15:11,850 --> 00:15:12,480 and this year, 275 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,890 I think the model that's most recent is the comedian rose, 276 00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:19,740 everybody that didn't know then the President comes after that. 277 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:23,730 I think you're right. Yeah. So this so this year, the President 278 00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:26,640 said, No, I'm not coming screw you guys. And they and 279 00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:30,480 everything that he broke the whole thing it broke the mold 280 00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:33,570 broke everything they didn't have the red carpet guy was all 281 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,000 ready to go. I know you don't want to do it. But I was ready 282 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,000 to just do it for myself. Just to make Tina laugh and like, Oh, 283 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,830 watch this. I'll do the red carpet was everyone's wearing 284 00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:44,130 and it didn't they didn't show that. No C span cut when they 285 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:48,180 were already in and getting started. And it was by far the 286 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:51,990 most boring thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, I'm 287 00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:52,980 gonna start a tape. 288 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:56,490 I'm gonna be rack it up. Which a tape Do you want? 289 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:03,150 I will refer to it throughout the show. Ah, but and but I want 290 00:16:03,150 --> 00:16:05,910 to let's get the first part going. He's I had this thing 291 00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:09,000 running since actually, before we had to reboot. And I want to 292 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,650 just put on Bob Woodward. Yeah, I just wanted to put a little 293 00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:16,680 bit so we can hear what the pace of the show is like, and then 294 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,800 throughout the rest of this show, we'll play. I'll just cut 295 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,840 back to it because it's playing right now as we speak, we're 296 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,140 just going to cut right in on him. And he hears what he has 297 00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:25,740 said this is the 298 00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:32,910 document destruction, a massive house cleaning at the Nixon 299 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:38,880 reelection committee, a money trail, an organized well funded 300 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:39,810 cover, 301 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:43,560 just to have these two guys, Woodward and Bernstein, you 302 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:48,180 know, who both have been CIA assets currently, or in the 303 00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:52,020 recent past was laughable. Like, why don't you get your boss's up 304 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:54,450 on the stage people? Look, here's your here's your boys. 305 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:55,530 You do what they do. 306 00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:03,930 Clark McGregor, then the Nixon campaign manager called Ben 307 00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:07,350 Bradley, the editor of the Washington Post. I 308 00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:10,470 mean, just when you hear that a dad editor of the Washington 309 00:17:10,470 --> 00:17:15,780 Post, I'm like, oh, pass the weed. I can handle this. It was 310 00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:21,270 so boring and so bad. And although of course, the comedian 311 00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:23,820 gets rave reviews that I think he 312 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:28,860 bombed Well, except for that, too. Okay, we're done with 313 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,020 Woodward's. We'll come back to him later and we'll come back to 314 00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:33,630 him of course. Okay. So yeah, I'll just let it play in the 315 00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:37,830 background and we'll cut in and out. The comedian wasn't funny. 316 00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,380 Let's start with that. I don't know who gave him rave reviews. 317 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,740 In fact, the couple of clips from the comedian, 318 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:47,130 you just don't need to look at the face bag to know about the 319 00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,030 rave reviews. 320 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:54,180 W h CD Joe. This is one of his jokes and this is typical of his 321 00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:54,810 material. 322 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,540 Hey, has anyone seen Rick Perry since he became energy 323 00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:58,170 secretary? 324 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,280 I have a feeling he's sitting in a room full of plutonium waiting 325 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:10,050 to become Spider Man. That's just my hunch. Yeah, 326 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:17,610 it was is this like great material? He was nervous. He was 327 00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:20,700 he did have one the funny and only funny Lanzoni open he says 328 00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,980 Welcome to the last Washington 329 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,430 the last White House this season or the season finale. I think he 330 00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:26,670 said 331 00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:31,710 something like that. And here's another one of his fabulous I 332 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:34,470 don't think he put much effort into this either. And he should 333 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:37,260 have hired some other outside writers but it does seem that he 334 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:40,230 did or even used the Daily Show writers was maybe his what he 335 00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:42,330 did, is tried to second gag. 336 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:47,610 Now a lot of people think Steve Bannon is the reason Donald 337 00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:50,970 Trump dog whistles to racists was fun and that is just not 338 00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:58,620 true as Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon here I do not see Steve 339 00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:14,700 Bannon. I do not see steeped in not see Steve Bannon. One more 340 00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:18,930 time I see Steve Bannon 341 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:22,920 that's on their level. 342 00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:28,560 So saying Nazi Steve Bannon is funny too. But did you know that 343 00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,930 I think that the room was sweetened? Because you could 344 00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,930 look out there and there wasn't anybody laughing at all there's 345 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,630 a few people smiling very few well, you know 346 00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,390 is with the sweetening business I pay a lot of attention to 347 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:44,130 this. There's when they have the room mics depending on who's 348 00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:47,010 where you know, things can sound really loud even though it may 349 00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,980 be one person just near one of the one of the ambiance 350 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,760 microphones. Built magazine I just point out as an aside, 351 00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:58,200 says, this is all bull crap. There was no booing of Ivanka 352 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,130 Trump at the event and we're built to do that yeah yeah the 353 00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,920 thing we debunked on the last episode and you know same thing 354 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,100 and maybe there was some some room noise that was Mike near 355 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:11,730 the press pit in this case you have nothing but the probe sure 356 00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:15,420 there's all kinds of noises going on but no laughing No I 357 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:18,210 didn't hear the only the end when he went into you know you 358 00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,520 guys are protecting the First Amendment that this isn't 359 00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:24,750 important and blind. God bless America and then everyone's like 360 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:28,140 all standing ovation. Yes, we are important. We are very 361 00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:30,570 important. No, we are important. douchebags. 362 00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:35,640 What are they? We're important. Well, the counter program was 363 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,630 actually and it was at the same time with Samantha Bee show. Oh, 364 00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:39,720 I 365 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,880 didn't realize she had that. Okay, interesting. 366 00:20:41,939 --> 00:20:45,569 So she did an hour a press correspondents dinner. That was 367 00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:49,589 at least five times funnier. Yeah. Even though it was just 368 00:20:49,589 --> 00:20:55,469 still. Trump hate Trump hate. But it will. I mean, here's an 369 00:20:55,469 --> 00:20:58,409 example of one of her jokes, which is just a Trump hate joke 370 00:20:58,409 --> 00:21:02,069 that was funny to this audience. I find it to be slightly 371 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:06,149 annoying. I don't like these kinds of you ridiculing people 372 00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:08,879 for their appearance. But this is Samantha V's or Ranga Tang 373 00:21:08,879 --> 00:21:09,239 joke, 374 00:21:09,690 --> 00:21:13,290 has convinced 88% of his fans that you're an enemy of the 375 00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:17,130 people. You basically get paid to stand in a cage while a 376 00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:20,700 geriatric orangutan and his pet mob scream at you. It's like a 377 00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:22,110 reverse Zoo. 378 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,370 I don't li